Animal House minus Kevin Bacon

Now for something completely different…
The reason for the picture is that I have been watching some of my favorite Simpsons episodes and most of them involve Mr. Burns.

Important note: Kevin Bacon's middle name is Norwood. Norwood?

In Search of Angel Witch

In search of Angel Witch. Sounds like some kind of Disney movie that would star an 8-year old Dakota Fanning. It would be about a young orphaned girl who would travel to an enchanted lake to summon the Angel Witch to bring her mother back to life. This is not at all what Angel Witch is about, but I can dream.

Angel Witch is a heavy metal band that I thoroughly enjoy. They formed in the late 70’s and have been producing some bad-ass music. I always feel like a tool when I say bad-ass. Well, I have one of Angel Witch’s albums, Screamin’ n’ Bleedin’, but this CD doesn’t compare to their self-titled album. How could I not want an album called Angel Witch by the band Angel Witch where the first song on the album is called Angel Witch? And get this, the chorus, wait for it… “You're an angel witch, you're an angel witch/You're an angel witch, you're an angel witch” Really? It’s so simple and that is why I love it. No sugar-coated, metaphor-drenched, overwrought or over-thought out lyrics. I appreciate it for its simplicity.

For the last 6 months I have been on the hunt for this album. I’ve visited 4 HMV’s, Sonic Boom and Rotate This and no luck. I decided to finally ask the dude at Rotate This to order the album for me even though I absolutely hate ordering things. I don’t like giving stores my phone number and then waiting for them to call me when they have it in. It means that I always have to have my phone on and they’ll likely call at the most inopportune time…like when the world is ending or when I’m having dinner with friends. I’m desperate though. They have my number and they have my information. I mean, Joe Nobody could walk into the store off the street and ask for the numbers of all the people waiting for CD’s and then proceed to call them and find out where they live and kill them. Yes I’m talking death. This situation is unlikely but you can’t spell unlikely without likely, which therefore makes the situation is extremely likely and therefore definite. That's my logic and I'm sticking to it.

Soon I will have the CD in my hands. I look very forward to it. This post makes me seem like a square. Do people say square? Probably not.

Dressed like an extra on My So Called Life

What I want: a studded denim jacket and a braided bracelet.

What I REALLY want!

I see it. I want it. The weather might be against it, but I want it. I’ve always wanted to be an urban lumberjack. Is there any question that I have no fashion sense? I definately do not have a fashion sense. Scratch that. I don’t have a GOOD fashion sense.

Speaking of fashion…lately my clothing choice has been dictated by smell. I have been busy (lazy) and have mounds of laundry to wash so if my clothes smell clean then I wear them, if they don’t they remain in a mound.

Back To The Future

It’s all coming back to me now. I am being flooded with memories. Two people from my past made a sudden appearance in my future. Yes indeed I am talking about Susan Powter and Stuart Anderson.

Who are these wonderful people? Susan Powter is a fitness instructor, nutritionist, platinum haired goddess and Stuart Anderson is one part Scottish singer and 99 parts amazing.
Anyway, I was recently perusing the web and stumbled upon the website http://everythingisterrible.blogspot.com/ (Everythingisterrible) and clicked on a video about a woman grocery shopping. That woman was Susan Powter. For some reason she looked familiar. In order to satisfy my curiosity I searched her on imdb.com and realized that she was in an episode of Fresh Prince that I saw years ago.

I went back to Everythingisterrible and discovered yet another nostalgic gem. One Mr. Stuart Anderson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6qoQ7UvEBk&feature=related How is this Scottish darling related to my past? Well, years ago, I’m talking 15 years ago my older brother Jordan was on the local news during Christmas. They were asking kids what they wanted to be when they were older. The segment that my brother was a part of wasn’t on until the end of the news program but my mom had taped the program in its entirety. One of the stories covered during the news was about Stuart Anderson. I can barely understand what he’s singing but that won’t stop me from loving his music.

Ferris Bueller's Classroom

I have gotten into a routine. I wake up every day at 8:35am. If I sleep in any longer I start to get the symptoms of restless leg syndrome (Wikipedia it). I watch about an hour of television; half an hour dedicated to Glutton for Punishment and half an hour for Taking it Off. I don’t particularly like the show Taking it Off but that doesn’t stop me from watching it every morning. The rest of the day is an overall bore composed of monotonous tasks. I read, I draw, I take a mid-afternoon nap, I check fourfour.com, I pet my cats and I study (a tiny bit).

By the time it hits 5pm I make my way to the couch to watch Compass, which is Prince Edward Islands News channel. I don’t live in P.E.I. nor do I ever plan to. It’s like Canada’s equivalent of Florida; you go there for a vacation or to retire. Yet, I am a faithful watcher of Compass. Following Compass I usually play a rousing game of scrabble. It’s typically just my cousin and I playing against each other. To further emphasize how pathetic I am I had to pay my little brother five dollars to play one game of scrabble. This is no joke. I literally paid him. At least it got him away from World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft…yeah I don’t get it. The whole role-playing computer game thing seems like it would lead to an adult-life where one would not be satisfied in the bedroom unless their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend were dressed as an elf or warlock. World of Warcraft and 4chan. I don’t get it.

Yesterday at 9:30pm Kelly texted me to go out with her. 9:30pm on a Wednesday I am in my pajamas watching Supersize vs. Superskinny (or Superskinny vs. Supersize). Beside it being the middle of the week and the fact that I was in my pajamas I also had a bowl of oatmeal and it wasn’t sitting in my stomach right. I don’t really know where I’m going with this but compared to most people my life seems as dull as ditch water.

So whatchu gonna go about it Willis? I don’t know? I guess I could be more productive. I do have some summer plans. Make a film, take some photos, mail the 7 gifts that have been sitting on my dresser for the last month and a half. I think for the next two week, for my own purposes, I am going to eat the same thing for breakfast lunch and dinner. I’ll probably get sick of it after two days.

You wanted the best, You got the best

There are certain things in life I want to do. Some things are more plausible than others. I mean, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever end up living in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory or own the yet-to-exist chicken-antelope hybrid (or chickalope). I’m absolutely certain that the chocolate factory doesn’t exist in real-life unless you consider the movie Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory a documentary and the chickalope would probably be an unfortunate creature; a beak, long hairy legs and suicidal.

Other things I would like to do in my life are actually conceivable. I’ve never had street meat. I don’t eat meat but most vendors offer veggie hot-dogs. One day I’ll make the leap, but I digress. The point is that I am going to fulfill one of my life goals. I am going to see a KISS concert. There are those concerts you want to see, those you could do without seeing, those you don’t want to see and those that you’d kill a lion with your bare hands to see. I want to see the Flaming Lips because I think they would put on an amazing show. I could do without seeing Patrick Wolf because although I thoroughly enjoy his music I am pretty content listening to him via my ipod. I don’t want to see Sarah Mclachlan. I just don’t. No offense Mclachlan but I’ll go anywhere but Lilith Fair. I have to see KISS.

The first time I was exposed to KISS was through their video Lick it Up. No makeup. No platform shoes. No fire-breathing. Just four guys rocking out. That began my KISS journey. I became part of the KISS army. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to be buried in a KISS coffin. I’m not crazy I just love KISS. So come July 20th I am going to my first KISS concert. I’m dirt poor but sacrifices are made and money has to be spent. I can only hope that the cast of Detroit Rock City, especially Ed Furlong, will be there.