Pump your fist!

It’s just over 2 weeks since the New Year. I made a New Year resolution to keep all my bad habits (So far so good). I’m still eating chocolate daily and not exercising at all. I’m on my way to weighing 300 pounds and having my own hour special on TLC: 300 pounds and growing.
Seriously, I did make some resolutions…well, a bucket list (I just realized a week ago why it is called a “bucket list”. To “kick the bucket” is to die. I have never witnessed someone kicking a bucket before they die. I don’t get the correlation, but that’s just me).

While in Starbucks (raise your coffee cups up) I composed a well thought out list of things I’d like to do:

1. Listen to “And She Was” by the Talking Heads and “Stand and Deliver” by Adam Ant 5 days a week.

2. Wear sweatpants out in public (I have never done this. Although I have worn socks and sandals together and that is an even bigger fashion crime in my opinion).

3. Lie to someone about who I am. This will likely happen in a bar when someone asks me my name. I will need to come up with an elaborate story about who I am.
a. Wealthy philanthropist
b. Pregnant
c. Former child pageant winner

4. Donate (a liver? Mine is shot. Blood? This is the best option. Clothes? No one wants my rags)

5. Develop an insecurity

6. Get over that insecurity

7. Get on Jersey Shore

Hopefully I’ll be able to complete a couple of those.

What’s new in the land of Lindsay? (That’s a bit pretentious…referring to myself as a land). I have come to accept that I don’t know how to blog. I barely know how to function. I remind myself daily to breathe (ok, not really, but I barely get by). Blogs are places to air opinions. What do I have an opinion on? I could talk about Haiti, but I’ll leave that to the news. I’m not the news. I’m no Walter Cronkite. I don’t have anything to bitch and moan about. I’m not “hating” on anything in particular. I should add that to my list: form a deep hatred. (The reason I put “hating” in quotations is because it’s not a word that is part of my vernacular. I would feel physically uncomfortable using the word “hating” unless I were to use it in the context of hating a certain movie, things, place or person. I don’t like using it in the sense of “hating on” like being a “hater” or a “playa-hater”… I don’t know or like where this is heading…I digress…I should add that to the list: stop digressing…but that’s another digression. Shoot.)